Medical
No photos of this cos they wouldn't let me, but quite an experience. Everyone applying for residency in China has to do a medical, to make sure we don't bring in any unwanted disease! You go to some big building in the suburbs of Shanghai and fill in some forms, then the fun starts. You undergo 6 different tests and they have a sort of assembly line so you start at one end of the corridoor and work your way down, there are names on each door but they are in chinese so you have no idea whats waiting for you on the other side! You start with the blood test where a woman who does nothing else all day managed to roll up my sleeve, slip on a tourniquet, jab a needle in me and extract a tube of blood in one movement, was all over in less than 10 seconds! I remember one nurse in London stabbing me 11 times before she managed to get the needle in the vein, I walked out looking like a heroin addict with holes all over my arm! Then you move on to the EKG, this was slighly concerning as the machine they hook you up to was about 30 years old and it looked like she was plugging me in to the mains!!! Next up was the x-ray, it was a stand-up one made by Canon, looked like a photocopier on its side - may well have been! Next was the sight test, cecile totally cheated cos she was wearing contact lenses but actually the nurse let me keep my glasses on too! Then she pushed a picture which was a mess of colours in front of me and shouted "read it", I looked at the picture, then her and asked "read what?", she pointed at the picture and shouted again "read it!!!", I said "I'm sorry but I don't know what you want me to read?", she turned the page and pointed at another mess of colours and shouted "read numbers, read it" I said "I'm sorry but I don't see any numbers", she looked at me, broke into a big smile, laughed, pointed at me and declared "Ha!!! Colourblind!!!!" and ushered me out of the room - who knew??? A little disheartened I headed into the ultrasound, more than a little concerned the nurse was going to say "Ha!! Pregnant!", that one went fine though. Final one was blood pressure with a lovely old doctor who must have been in his 70's, as he took the reading he said to me "don't worry you very normal!" So that was that, apparently we have to wait a couple of weeks for the results but assuming we don't have any nasty diseases we've passed! Unless of course they can deport me for being colourblind????
posted by spiritofstockwell @ 10:07 PM
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